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Lonely Jamie - rated R’ish

Jamie Foxx sat at the bar, drowning his sorrows in a Manhattan. The snow was falling outside in soft sheets. His tears slid down his perfect, dark skin, and his muscles—newly large from an upcoming role in a boxing movie—bulged through his shirt. He was depressed. The holidays, even when you’re a big celebrity, are very empty when you’re alone, he mused to himself and threw back the last of his drink.

Silvery tones from the bell over the door sounded. Jamie did not even bother to look up. Two pairs of feet shuffled in heavily and he did not want to see another happy couple enjoying themselves in the winter wonderland that was creating itself outside.

"Do you sell items such as jams, jellies, maps, wine, books, etc.?" A deep, leathery voice asked. It caught Jamie’s attention but he was already a bit tipsy and didn’t trust himself to not make a spectacle of himself if he got involved in someone else’s business tonight.

The bartender shook his head and continued polishing his stemware behind the bar, unfazed. The newcomer pulled a chair next to Jamie back and sat down. He could feel eyes searching his face. He was used to this, as people tried to place him and figure out why he looked so familiar. It was getting old, however.

"Black Beauty…" The smooth voice whispered. Shocked, Jamie was about to turn and give this stranger a piece of his mind when he swung around to view a stallion sitting next to him. A real stallion. It was chestnut with a white stripe down the middle of his head and long, dark locks. Jamie Foxx was entranced.

"Can I help you?" He ordered another drink and put his guard up.

"You meet a guy and he seems really nice, you’d like to get to know him, but he doesn’t ask you for your number. No way." The horse mumbled to himself sarcastically, shaking his head slowly.

Jamie Foxx was a bit perplexed but he was lonely and intrigued. ‘You might regret this, J’, he said to himself, but proceeded. “What’s your name?” Jamie started sipping his new drink and turned to the stranger, who was licking the melting snow off his coat.

"The Lay Maestro." The stallion replied saucily with a wink.

"You’re bad. No, really, man, what’s your name?"

"Horse_ebooks." Horse_ebooks said quietly. He raised a hoof to flag down the bartender. "Delicious mud." The bartender nodded and reached for the Kahlua and a Hershey’s bar and Everclear. The night had just begun.

Talk drifted from topic to topic. Jamie Foxx liked Horse_ebooks. He knew a lot about lots of different topics, from politics to betting methods and even could quote lines from abstract books. Horse_ebooks was in the middle of one of these recitations when it started to sound familiar. “The girl he watched grow into a woman, a woman who has stolen his heart, is now a werewolf and his dream of making her his has been—” Jamie Foxx interrupted him.

"NO WAY, MAN! That was from my last movie! I was filming—"

"Winter’s Kiss."

"—yeah, YEAH! Winter’s Kiss. We were filming in Russia. That shit was COLD, son. Food sucked too. I was never so excited to get back to LA and the US than then…"

"Red, White and Blue…" Horse_ebooks nodded and the conversation trailed off in a tense silence. They were delaying the inevitable. Jamie took the first step.

"You’ve been sort of sending me signals since you walked in here, Horse_ebooks." He inched his bar stool towards the stallion and dropped his voice down low. "If you wanted me to say one thing, what would it be?"

"A horse, at last." He lipped his drink’s straw with his horsey lips and sucked up the last dregs of his melted beverage.

"Have you ever been with anyone as famous as me?" Jamie Foxx flashed a bright smile. Maybe he could speed things up.

"Maybe, professional—" Horse_ebooks pulled out his cell phone from his fannypack and hoofed down to Tony Romo’s name. Jamie Foxx laughed.

"Aww, shit, man, that’s nothing. That must have been disappointing." Horse_ebooks shrugged coyly. "What?! Really?! White boy can dish it out? How long did he last?" Jamie was suddenly jealous. He felt a warmth surge through his loins.

"Even football only lasts for 90 minutes…" Horse_ebooks smirked but refused to say anything else. Jamie felt his penis get hard. This horse was driving him crazy. The bartender was in the back, restocking some large ale barrels. Taking his chance, Jamie slid his hand down the back of the stallion’s rump and ran his fingers through his silky tail.

"Listen, baby, I’m ready to take this party to the next level. What do you think?" He whispered into the horse’s ear. "Can I see it?" He wiggled his eyebrows at his new friend.

"You will undoubtedly look back on this moment with shock and—" Jamie didn’t hear the rest of what Horse_ebooks said as he peeked down at the dangling, pendulous dick that swung from between the stallion’s legs. It was glistening and throbbing in the dark bar’s light.

"Oh, dude, we have GOT to get back to your place. I’m next door to my publicist, and the things I want to do to you is going to be LOUD." Jamie Foxx was salivating in anticipation.

Horse_ebooks left a twenty on the bar and zipped his fannypack with his lips. He sauntered to the door and wrapped his scarf around his neck, his member almost dragging on the ground. Jamie Foxx had to compose himself and tried to think of the cold snow outside to calm himself. His pants were contracted around his own erection tightly. Horse_ebooks turned and shot him a sexy stare over his shoulder, raising his tail to show off his tight anus.

The stallion pawed impatiently at the doorframe. “I hope for your sake you are ready for a life WITHOUT back or neck…”

 
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    oh my god
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    Tears of laughter forever. Thank you.
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