“Well, Mr. Horse_ebooks, would you like to say Grace?” Asked Mrs. Yoder, placing the last of the dinner plates down on the simple, homemade table. She gazed at her 7 children and husband, his long Amish beard hanging almost into his dinner plate. With a curt nod, he caught her gaze and adjusted it. Her youngest son had brought over a friend who had recently moved into their tight-knit community. She had been rather surprised that it was a full-grown stallion.

He didn’t look up at her. “doesn’t matter” Horse_ebooks said. He glanced at her youngest son, Jeremiah. They exchanged looks.

“Ok, well, I think that Samuel should. Samuel?” Her husband recited Grace and when they all opened their eyes, Horse_ebook was already nibbling at some corn.

“Do you ever get a hankering for corn…?” Horse_ebooks glanced around the table.

“Well, that’s not so polite, Horse_ebooks, is it? In any case, how do you like the food?” Mrs. Yoder asked.

“greasy” came his nonchalant reply. Mrs. Yoder pretended not to hear.

“So you moved from Ohio? How do you and your parents like it here?” Samuel Yoder asked. He could see his wife growing unhappy and had decided to step in.

“They are boring They follow the…” Horse_ebooks trailed off and stuffed some more food into his mouth before continuing, “Book Of Death.”

Everyone fell silent and Jeremiah chortled slightly under his breath. No one really knew what to say. Mrs. Yoder was red and embarrassed, thinking maybe the Lord had sent this Horse_ebooks to challenge her. He wouldn’t get the best of her, she tought.

“What do you think of the bread? I have my two eldest daughters make it every day. We sell it at our farm stand on the weekends.”

“The amount of labor which a loaf represents is almost incredible.” He raised his eyebrows as if everyone should agree. Finally, Mrs. Yoder thought, dinner was back on track.

“It is, very much so, incredible…We were baking a loaf and thinking of the ingredients as every virtue we loved about our lives. What would go in your ‘virtue loaf’, Horse_ebooks?” Mrs. Yoder looked to her kids, who always loved this game. Naming the ingredients for different virtues. Silly, but not profane. She smiled to herself for making that up.

Horse_ebooks sat back for a second and put his hooves through his suspenders and thought quietly. “Worry Unforgiveness Pride Prejudice Lying Immodesty Hypocrisy Humility Honesty Hatred Gossip.”

“Ha, what a funny-man! Humor is a virtue in and of itself when the Lord challenges us,” Samuel interjected quickly. “I like your suspenders. I heard your mother is quite the sewing expert. She made some of those for us, you know, and handed them out to us at church this morning—”

“By far, the fastest and easiest way of conveying that you re worthy of sex is through your clothes. Clothes communicate.” Horse_ebooks let out a belch. Everyone stared.

“Clothes…” He trailed off wistfully. No one made a move. “fabric…” Again he stared past the table,t he food, through the window, and into the fields.

“Well, at least he’s speaking truthfully, Mother,” said her eldest son, John. His Rummspringa was coming next month, and he was starting to get rebellious. Mrs. Yoder inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself.

Horse_ebooks pushed his chair back and walked to the back door. “Truth is often shameless, truth is not shy. Truth can be murderously horrible. Maija. (Reluctantly.)” He left, then turned back. “Please and Thank you!” And he was gone.