“Who s Training Who?” asked the horse standing next to me, waiting for obedience class to start. Sure my dog was a tiny bit out of control, but that was a very rude thing to say. I also wondered how a horse got a dog in the first place.

He stomped a hoof on the ground twice, and his corgi did a backflip. “Animal magic” he said with a wink, looking at me. Was he… hitting on me?

I took my phone out and nervously started to pretend to read some emails. It didn’t phase him. “Have you ever made a phone call to a man and later regretted it? Have you ever hesitated before”

I started to get a bit creeped out. “Um… I have a boyfriend, you know.” I muttered.

He pressed his snout to my ear and whispered “the gorgeous liars,”. I shuddered in disgust. He continued. “Imagine, you bring home toothpaste,” How has anyone else in the class not noticed this huge horse hitting on me? I made a mental note not to stand in the back of the class next week.

He then started licking my neck, continuing to whisper. “Some people think French kissing is no big deal. It s just like a regular kiss, but with a little added tongue-action. That s dead wrong.”

“Okay, STOP!” I yelled, frustrated. “I’m not interested!”

He looked a bit taken aback and started to walk off. On his way out, he turned back and noticed I was still staring at him in disbelief and lifted his tail.

“Revealed: Two of the sexiest minerals and” I couldn’t hear the rest of what he said over the sound of me vomiting.