The young man adjusted his tie and cleared his throat. He wasn’t nervous, per se, just anxious to get the presentation over with. He waited before the investors as they shuffled some papers around and took sips of water. They murmured to one another. A lousy day of investment pitches. Only one more remained. They obviously didn’t hold out much hope. The man puffed his chest out a bit and got ready to wow them. A voice erupted from the back of the boardroom.
“Feeling helpless as your betting bank gets smaller everyday instead of growing.”
Everyone turned to look at the source of the voice. Gasps. Intakes of air that bordered on screams. Palpable tension cut the air. The investors turned to view a large horse with RayBans walking up the aisle between the investors’ chairs. He walked slowly all the way to the young man and turned to face his audience, who sat speechless.
“Most people have no chance of getting their hands on it.” Horse_ebooks lowered his shades and peered at the investors with a devilish glint. One brave businessman found his voice.
“W..what are you playing at?” The man wiped a bead of sweat from his brow as he stood among his peers.
Horse_ebooks sat back on his haunches and took a Gogurt from his saddle pouch. With a laissez-faire attitude that made the investors salivate, he responded. “There’s a great deal of money to be made.” He slurped the Gogurt loudly to a crowd that began to grow excited.
Another man raised his hand then yelled out, “But what are you asking for?!”
With the Gogurt tube drained, Horse_ebooks threw the plastic behind him nonchalantly and looked at the investor through his dark frames. “No massive start up funds required. Start with what ever you have and build it up slowly.”
This started chatter that sprang like wildfire among the men. The young investor stood, agape, at what was unfolding before him. His pitch? His perfect pitch?! Derailed by a yogurt-eating, sunglass-wearing, punk of a horse. An older woman piped up from the second row. “What other companies have you worked for? What are your experiences?”
The horse calmly replied, “No Experiences.”
The young man was crushed but an anger rose inside his chest. He didn’t know what to say, but was about the clear his throat again when the main investor tapped his silver pen hard on the oak desk at the front of the room.
“But what will you offer us?” He said slowly. With his eyes narrowed, he was waiting for Horse_ebooks to answer this one question correctly, or face immediate failure.
The horse stood and shook himself from mane to tail, adjusted his glasses, and started towards the rear of the boardroom. “What you need to know.” And with that, the deal was done.
