Harry took his seat near the rear of the dungeon. The usually cold air was warmer today, and Snape was positioned over the top of a bubbling cauldron that spewed a pink foam. Hermione even shot him a look across the room, and Harry knew something was different today. If the star pupil couldn’t place a potion, they were in trouble.

Just then, the dungeon door clanged open and a horse in black Hogwarts student robes strode in. Everyone gasped and started whispering to one another. Professor Snape simply raised an eyebrow icily. “Well, our new celebrity. Horse_ebooks, please remove those sunglasses and take a seat at the front of the class.”

Horse_ebooks didn’t seem to hear, or didn’t want to listen. He took a seat next to Harry, however, without saying a word. This seemed to infuriate Snape, who turned red.

“Fine, another insolent student. Tell us, if you’re so clever, what’s in this potion?”

Horse_ebooks smirked. “Ice Cream, Balloons, Pink Butterfly, Apple, Frangipani, Musical Notes, Kissy Lips, Cat, Dog, Sun, Moon, Rainbow, Dove, Soccer.” He knew all the ingredients. Hermione pursed her lips and pretended to take notes, but Harry saw that her quill was digging too hard into her notebook.

Snape’s eyes raged. “What, then, does this potion do?”

Horse_ebooks shifted languidly in his chair, and without missing a beat, responded, “How to discover and separate the pleasure functions.”

“More specifically, please, Mr. Ebooks.” The greasy-haired professor seemed pleased with himself, as if he had finally found a chink in the new student’s armor.

“How to awaken your partner’s desire.” Horse_ebooks lowered his shades and shot the professor a deep, long stare. Snape didn’t break the gaze. Instead, he glided easily down between the students, holding eye contact, and came right to Harry and Horse_ebooks’ desk. Harry gulped, but the new student seemed unfazed.

Snape’s voice trembled with displeasure. He was being made to look a fool by a horse, wearing sunglasses no less! “And what sort of bark container, the only type which can do so, holds this Pleasurus Potionatum?” His thin lips twitched as he waited for an answer.

Moving his long face an inch away from Snape’s, Horse_ebooks blew out one stream of hot, horsey breath. “Basket Stitch.”

With a whip of his billowing robes, Professor Snape turned on his heel and walked back to the front of the classroom. Harry caught Hermione gazing at Horse_ebooks with a sense of longing, and Ron glared under his ginger fringe.